Friday, August 30, 2013

Found this in my 'work notes' notebook

While I was waiting for a work meeting to start, I found a 'entry' I wrote in my work notebook.

When did I write this? I thought. 

Usually when I write something, I have the idea of what I'm trying to write in my head for a while. I write, rewrite, edit. rewrite again, and then if I see that it's not going anywhere (Which is usually the case) I drop it. As I was reading it, I wondered where I was going with with it. There were no rewrites, no edits, just one entry. 

It's actually not that bad. I told myself. Which is weird because when I usually write something, I become critical of my work. Perhaps it's because I don't recognize this and don't know if I completely take ownership of it as something that I wrote (even though it's obviously my handwriting), I am not as critical.  Or maybe it really is horrible. 

               *                  *                  *                    *               * 

He looked at me, deep in thought and there was an awkward silence between us. His eyes, intently piercing through mine and for a second I thought he could read my thoughts, feel my heart race, and know exactly what I was feeling. The rest of the world - the people sitting in the booths next to us, the big screen tvs that played in the background - seemed to fade away. 

"You're lucky," I said as I tried to regain my logical sense and snap back to reality. "I have spent years developing a defense system against men with piercing blue eyes"

His moment of deep thought was broken by my randomness, and after a moment, a hint of a smile could be seen forming at the corner of his lips. 

"Is that right?"

"Yea," I said matter of factly. "What you're trying to do, is not working."

"And what is that I'm trying to do?" He asked, still with a slight smile on his face.

I hesitated. I hadn't thought how this conversation would play out. 

"Okay well, maybe I don't really know." I said. And that was the truth. What I did know was that him looking at me with such intensity made me nervous. I turned to my drink and began to fidget, stirring the straw clockwise, counter-clockwise, and then clockwise again. 

.                          *                           *                      *                             *

And that's as far as I got. 

 I thought it was interesting because I don't remember writing this and I don't know what in the world would have inspired me to write this. I don't know.. just thought I'd share.