Friday, July 19, 2013

The Story of : A First Kiss

This was it, the moment I was going to have my first kiss.

We were playing spin bottle: I spun the bottle and it pointed to him, an 8th grade boy with braces. His name was Logan, like 'Logan' from Wolvarine. I had seen him around school, but being a year younger, never really talked to him.

 Now, we weren't going to talk, but kiss.  As required by the rules of "Spin the Bottle", the kiss had to happen. I wasn't going to back out; the only reason why this kiss wouldn't happen would be if he backed out, and then he would be labeled the wuss, a reputation that could only be redeemed by kissing 5 other girls just to prove otherwise.

I was ready to go through with it. I mean, no one knew I had never been kissed, and they didn't need to know. Besides, at the end of what was about to happen, it wasn't even going to matter. I was hoping it would be him: he was a year older, played baseball, and was kind of cute. It wasn't like he was a bad-looking kid - just a little skinny and awkwardly lanky, typical of any prepubescent middle school boy in America. Was I worried about the braces? Kind of. MTV hadn't prepared me for kissing someone with braces

Everyone watched, intently.  I hoped they couldn't see my heart beating out of my shirt, my hands clenched tightly, shaking and sweating. I tried to give a smile like I had done this a million times before which I think everyone bought, but inside, I was a nervous wreck.

Oh my God, I thought. this is happening. This is how it will all go down. When I talk about how my first kiss happened, this is what I'm going talk about. 

I made the first move, leaning forward into the middle of the circle, inviting him to do the same. I heard giggling in the background, along with hoots and hollers from friends cheering us on.

I can do this. I can do this. 

I closed my eyes and felt his lips touch mine.

And then, quick as quick could be, it was done.

He leaned back into his spot without as much as giving me a look, while I lingered for a few moments before going back to my spot, disappointed.

That ... that was my first kiss. 

I don't know what I was expecting. Maybe a little more of a romanticized moment? You know, one where all of a sudden you hear a song playing in the background, kind of like in the movies and in tv: in the movie She's All That, when Freddie Prinze Junior kissed that girl he ends up with at the end of the movie (I don't remember her name, I just remember Freddie Prinze Junior) it was "Kiss Me"; in Dawson's Creek, when Joey and Dawson kiss for the first time, it was that one Ewin Mccdain song.

I, unlike what occurred in romantic movies, I heard nothing.

Logan continued to avoid eye contact with me, talking with some girl talking next to him. Blonde, blue-eyed, well -endowed for being 14. She was pretty. If Gap had some intermediary clothing line in between their "Gap Kids" and regular "Gap", she could've been a model.

Suddenly I wished I was blonde, blue-eyed, and didn't have an A cup bra size. Maybe then he would've wanted to kiss me, or maybe I would've been kissed a while ago and wouldn't have had to depend on some game in order for it to happen: Boys would be wanting to kiss me.

"Chloe," I heard my best friend whisper in my hear. "Are you okay?"

"Yea," I said giving the best smile I could. "I'm fine."

"Mmmkay," she said, suspiciously knowing that I was otherwise. "You know she's a slut, right?"

I nodded, giving her a half-smile.

"Kara and Jack - it's your turn!" someone shouted.

I saw that the bottle at pointed to my friend.

It was a queue that our side conversation ended, and he leaned into the circle and gave him a kiss which was followed by oooohs.

"Kiss again!" someone shouted.

They had barely finished the last kiss before they went in for another one, and another. ugh. 

God, I wanted this game to end. 

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